Monday, March 3, 2008

Watery Expanse Surpassed

Well so it happens that I find myself at the other side of a rather vast expanse of water...

After a severely enjoyable stay in Vancouver and Victoria, I seem to have ended up in a rather backwards and frustrating place, better known as the Heathrow Airport.

A little more on Vancouver and Victoria, because well I suppose that’s where I existed for the past few weeks. A morbidly obese thank you to both Joann, Adam and the girl for caring for me to the point of spoiling me to bits, and I enjoyed every moment. My time in Vancouver included all sorts of delights, and my rediscovering mild obsession with repetitive motions, and thus knitting and crocheting. My lack of knitting needles however on the plane made for thumb-twiddling in its place. Overall I had an extremely enjoyable time, but to keep this as keyboard clutchingly entertaining as possible I’ll delve into a few of the more colourful events of the past few weeks.

The first to come hurtling to mind is that of my trip to Victoria. I had decided during my stay in Vancouver that there was no possible way I would be able to be so close and yet not be in the awe-inspiring presence of the nothing short of brilliant Opposite Octave… if you don’t know him already, well, you probably should and he and I have made some of my hands down favorite pictures. Ones you’ve come to know and love such as our rendition of ‘bloody wedding dress in an alley’ and the exhaustingly spectacular pictures of me in unitards, and mustangs. Now that you’re completely familiar with his work, I’ll also add in that he’s also quite the sweet guy…in that sarcastic bitter kind of way, but we all love him to bits regardless. His other half is also magnificent, known as ‘the girl’ or Kirsten Hofbauer and we made beauty which is also on the way to your eyes. Before my mildly ego massaging session of ‘the girl’ and Adam, there is also a bit of a story as to how I got there.

The Sunday before heading out to the island, I did a photoshoot with another friend of mine by the name of Ron Skei up in Sechelt …and so fine, dandy, I find my way to the ferry and make it to and from Sechelt without hitch. However when on my way to Victoria, well I assumed I would just head back to the ferry terminal, because, well…how many ferry terminals can there be really? Coming from Vernon, there’s only one of something, especially in terms of ferry terminals, which are a bit of a bigger deal. So…we plan to meet up on the other side around 10:30 after taking the 9am ferry, meaning I had to leave the house at some ungodly hour around 6am. So fine, mucus filled eyes and all, I head down to the bus stop (I actually met an interesting young guy waiting for the bus that morning, though he didn’t strike me as being the brightest crayon in the bucket conversationally, he was kind enough to offer up some gum which I gratefully accepted due to my atrocious morning breath…however…though I’ve been heeding the warning from the dentist man to not chew gum with an ‘appliance’ in…well, I gave in and then discovered that the ‘appliance’ and the gum actually adheres disturbingly well…and had to deal with that for the next few hours…)

Alright, so fine.

I arrive at the ferry terminal 20 min early and with some sort of gummy plastic concoction habitating in my mouth. I go to the counter and ask for a ticket to Victoria…and the lovely but also less than florescent coloured crayon woman behind the glass informs me that well…there is a ferry to Nanaimo…so that’s the ferry I obviously wanted. Heading up to the thing with the stuff at the place (ferry waiting holding tank place) I met yet another interesting, this time moustached character who upon talking to let my situation be spelled out quite clearly to me, which I was thankful for, despite him finding me enjoyable to follow. So fine. I was now in an unfortunate mood and in no mood to listen to the next little old woman who came up to me and decided to tell me about her life story and pine over her husband. So after some senior counseling, I end up on the other side and manage to sneak my way onto a greyhound bus going to the station in Nanaimo.

My luck was with me when upon arrival there was a bus just about to leave to Victoria and I managed to pounce upon that opportunity with success…with the added bonus of some somewhat drug induced bus-mates… So when it was all said and done, it took me something around 8 hours to make it to Victoria.

Now as said previously, I’m not entirely meaning your brain to leak out of your ears with complete boredom….so to add some spice to it?...I’ll let you know my current situation. I seem to not be able to escape screaming infants from the beginning of my flight in Vancouver….so that made for a particularly enjoyable plane ride. And so did free alcohol. Honestly. I was appalled…free…nothing is free, especially not booze! I can’t say I didn’t really take advantage of it…and with some gravol, plane food, beer and mini vodka and cranberry juice I knocked myself out enough to sleep through nearly the entire flight and woke up an hour before landing where I currently am…stuck.

London.

Damn you.

The security was so absurdly long that I missed my flight. That’s right. Not happy. Really not happy. Next flight? Ohhh yeah…..it’s in five hours…. That sucks.

So here I am blabbering away to whoever has gotten this far down to actually read it. In theory I’d like to update with these silly bloggy things every so often and include pictures and well insights as to my currently scandalous activities. As for the moment though...due to the strange outlets here and my lack of my converter, my laptop is threatening death on me….and I have two and a half hours left. JOY! So in the meantime, I think I’m going to go find someone with a delightful accent and learn some London slang, and if I’m lucky, some really humorous curse words.

Thanks for reading, and enjoy my latest collaboration ~ Until that next time zone, *insert lame Rick Steves line*








3 Comments:

Blogger Orrie Walls said...

Its wonderful to read your travels. You have quite the humor. Hope to read more have fun in Germany when you get there.

March 3, 2008 at 7:35 PM  
Blogger Scissorhands said...

Oh, mysterious stranger... your blogs simply rock. Write lots! :)

"Here's to free airline booze! It makes up for the screaming children."

March 4, 2008 at 5:02 PM  
Blogger mundoinfantil said...

You are quite eloquent and cynical! did you learn any humorous curse words? perhaps you can use them in your next post? spread the knowledge!

March 4, 2008 at 5:28 PM  

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