Love Machine

My science experiment kitchen. I find the most interesting things in there, today there is a marinating dish of something on the table, and I really couldn’t tell you what it is or was…some kind of slab, or something which I’m not even sure was alive once or not. The Spaniard also likes to have large chunks of flesh in tinfoil left on the top of the fridge, I also share a fridge with her so it’s chalk full of meaty…somethings.

Okay, well I have my fair share of experiments too... and my French roommate who happens also to usually be high on something or rowdy with the Spaniards at 4:30 always seems to walk in at the climatic part of my disaster and proceeds to tirelessly make fun of me for it. Luckily for him, the only thing he eats are frozen superstore pizzas. I’m actually not kidding, every night there’s one or two pizzas in the oven. Every night. I’ve never seen him eat anything else, I think someone should call an intervention.

So my latest creation is some sort of casserole on naan bread...which seems to be oozing much more than expected (especially considering I’m trying to eat it like pizza). I was grocery shopping today and was intrigued by the spongy, squeaky qualities of the eggplants, not to mention the colour…hot damn. So I get an eggplant, along with a friendly zucchini and bring them home with me.

Another quick comment on our kitchen, our knives…they’re so atrociously dull they probably couldn’t cut a plastic bag (I came up with this analogy as I was trying to use it, but I admit to honestly having no idea how difficult cutting a plastic bag would be, and there is such varying thicknesses as well, I’m sorry for any confusion) To give you an idea of how one must operate these knives, I’ll use the example of the tomato that I added to my umm…let’s call it ‘dinner’ for giggles. Okay so I had this tomato (one of the more ovally ones, so it certainly wasn’t like I was trying to go after one of those dastardly cherry tomatoes or something) To cut this little creature, I firstly have to puncture it to get an opening started, and then I can somewhat saw around the edge and work my way in. At times however it gets to the point of wild slashing aimed at the cutting board. Luckily if I were to hit anything at all with the knife, there would be no damage (similar to flailing with a fly swatter…though I don’t recommend that one). I also learned the unequivocal joy of “cutting” eggplants. It reminded me of slicing into a very very tiny whale. I admit to not doing that too often, but if you get the chance, practice on some eggplants first.

So it turns out I’m so intrigued with these natural eruptions of sweet spongy whale fleshy bags of joy that I’m going to try to see what I can do with them. Unless you have a very good reason why I shouldn’t- such as the case with brussel sprouts, which I was until recently very unaware of the hospitalizing qualities of them- be forewarned! And no, it wasn’t me who was hospitalized, or you would have a full fledged description of the pastel everything’s and odd smells and I have no doubt I could have a heyday describing the food, and to answer your question, yes the individual with the brussel sprout…incident is now back home and has the sprout gods cursing down acid rain upon their unsuccessful bodily raid.

In other news…it’s really (sailor mouth) beautiful here. Holy (sailor mouth) wow gosh dang. I spent the bulk of my day, besides going to the bank, and grocery shopping, at the park. I actually think I’ve found paradise. You know all of those famous for no reason classical paintings by all those dead white guys (description geared towards those who didn’t just do 3 years of excruciatingly painful art history, as well as those who did), well I found what they were painting, and it’s only about a 7 min walk from my front door (in the other direction of the canal right outside my front door). So I packed up my art supplies and canvas, which very conveniently fits in my tripod case and trucked on down to the park. My only other real experience with the city park was during the torrential downpour during the bicycle story…so it wasn’t the most positive one in the world. So yeah. Beauty. So I lay there for a good few hours drawing the flowers and sculptures around me and when necessary, positioned myself as though I was drawing the continual stream of lusty couples enough to make them awkward and to leave…heh…I found it relatively entertaining and seemed more socially acceptable than making violent dry heaving noises, though despite out language barrier, it may have gotten the message across as well. Needless to say though, I think I’ve found myself a comfortable working space for the next few months.

I have another confession. I’m not sure what the first one was, but I won’t be presumptuous to call this my first one. Oh damn, I forgot what it was. Give it second….yes! There it is- internet! My confession is that my internet is down and that’s why I’m writing such an eloquently and girthy post. Which defeats the purpose of having no internet because I need it to post my ramblings. So I’m sorry, it didn’t get this long from pure love for whomever is reading it, though good chances if you are reading it, I think you’re special. Especially you…yeah..you. *wink*

In more exciting news, it’s laundry day! And wow am I stretching this post into oblivion. Though I promise this topic is worthwhile. Sort of. My replacement shoes are. Another one of those ‘something is causing Robekkah pain, therefore she’s going to write about it so you can laugh at her’ moments. It’s these damn flo flog whatever they are, making me walk like a cat on something really prickly and cold…like a frozen sea of hedgehogs. You know those stupid looking foam shoe things that erupted into popularity a few years ago? Well my mother, bless her got me a pair in case I had particularly raunchy public showers to use here from the infamous Welk Mart in Vernon. A brief description for anyone not experienced in the Welk Mart experience. Chaos. Cheap, cheap chaos. It’s wonderful, and smells something like what I imagine a Chinese factory to smell like, and has EVERYTHING you don’t need. For example these foot apparatuses. They fit fine and are cute enough to look like I just stepped into a pile of gelatinous black space goo but my problem here is that I washed my little cloud slippers (black fuzzy clouds…but with no clouds…they’re just black fuzzy slippers) and in the process of washing them and as I wait for them to dry out on my radiator, I’m stuck with…these. My boggle (issue) is that whomever decided to design them, added for extra convenience little spikes to the bottom of the shoe. Not the bottom one walks on, noo but the part your foot sits on…yes we’re pretending feet can sit for the moment. Okay so there is painful spikes stabbing me in the feet, perhaps I just have particularly wussy feet but I’m not thrilled with this experience!! All of my socks are also wet, so I don’t have any extra padding…tough life I know. Hence the whole frozen hedgehog thing earlier….

I also found a tiny hovel last night and made t-shirts with a bunch of very lovely ladies...and now have two new (Free!!!) shirts!

Anyways. I’m sure you have something better to do by now, so I’ll leave you with a few of my titled “love machine” photos…enjoy~